How to Make Online Therapy Feel More Connected and Effective

I remember the days when online therapy was a rare occurrence opted for by the very few. Since 2020, when lockdowns pushed life indoors, online therapy has grown dramatically and become a mainstream way to access mental health support. The doors have reopened, but many therapists and clients alike still offer, and even prefer online therapy.

In many ways, it makes sense. Virtual therapy has allowed for a variety of new opportunities and conveniences. Clients who attend online therapy sessions only have to carve out time for the appointment itself. There’s no longer any need to worry about commuting time. There’s also the money factor. You don’t need to pay commuting or parking fees. No need to hire a babysitter. Very little need to rearrange your whole day. 

Those who experience accessibility issues can also rest easy; virtual therapy removes many of the barriers that make in-person sessions difficult or impossible to attend. Whether you’re managing a physical disability, chronic illness, or simply live far from your therapist’s office, online therapy meets you where you are (literally). For tons of folks, that kind of flexibility is the difference between getting support and going without it.

But like anything, online therapy comes with its own set of issues. As a therapist, I know that feeling truly connected through a screen isn’t always easy. Whether it’s distractions at home, tech issues, or just the absence of in-person energy, online sessions can feel a little flat for some, even when the therapy itself is good.

In this article I break down the following: 

• Is online therapy in Toronto as effective as in-person sessions?
• How to bridge the gap between online and in person sessions
• How to build a strong therapeutic relationship with your online therapist
• Setting up your space for effective virtual therapy sessions
• How to stay present and focused during online therapy

By the end of the article, you’ll have a better understanding of how to create a more connected and effective online therapy environment.

Is Online Therapy in Toronto as Effective as In-Person Sessions?

The short answer? Yes. Studies suggest that online therapy can be as effective as in-person sessions; but there are some caveats. 

Firstly, both the online therapist and the client must feel comfortable with the technology used. Consistency and reliability are important factors in effective therapy, and if you’re constantly facing tech hiccups, it can affect the experience. 

Secondly, the issues you’re tackling in therapy must be conducive to an online context. Treatment for active crises or issues that raise physical safety concerns, for example, may be better addressed via in-person therapy.

Lastly, you, the client, must be willing and able to engage in online therapy. It sounds obvious, but some folks simply and understandably have a tough time engaging with treatment when it’s via screens. Zoom fatigue, distractions, and disengagement are completely valid and real reasons to opt out of virtual therapy.

If you recognize that you are a good candidate for online therapy, or due to accessibility reasons find yourself needing sessions to be virtual, there are things you can do to better optimize your online therapy experience, and get the most out of your treatment.

How to Build a Strong Therapeutic Relationship With Your Online Therapist

Years of research show us that the relationship between a client and their therapist is the strongest predictor of success in therapy. That doesn’t change just because the treatment happens virtually, but it does mean we may need to be more intentional about building that relationship.

Honesty

One of the best things you can do in therapy, online or in person, is be honest. In online therapy, that can mean being honest about how the format feels or about being distracted. If your mind keeps wandering, you’re finding it hard to focus, or you’re feeling emotionally checked out, let your therapist know. There are ways to re-engage and a good therapist will welcome the feedback.

Vulnerability

Try to be intentional about being vulnerable. It can feel easier to hold back when you’re sitting in your own home rather than a space specifically dedicated to therapy. If you notice that’s the case for you, bring it up. The more openly you engage, the more your therapist can help.

Small Talk

This one sounds silly, but it can be really useful; don’t ignore the small talk. A minute or two to check-in at the start of a session helps ease into the work ahead, just as it would in person. It can help you warm up to your therapist and build that human connection.

Patience

Really try to give it time. Therapeutic relationships are like any other relationship; they don’t form overnight. Your alliance with your therapist becomes stronger over sessions, so try not to judge the connection too early.

How to Bridge the Gap Between Online and In-Person Sessions

When you’re attending therapy in person, a lot of rapport happens naturally. Both you and your therapist are able to pick up on your body language. Your therapist may, for example, notice when you shift in your seat, tighten up when discussing a particular topic, or fiddle more with your shirt. Online, some of those cues can get lost. That means both you and your therapist may need to work a little harder to bridge that gap.

Here’s how to do your part:

Say what your body is doing if you notice it

If you notice your chest tightening, your heart racing, your hands shaking, or tears welling up, let your therapist know, even if it feels obvious. On their end, they should be checking in on your body’s responses when discussing difficult topics. 

Tell them when something lands

If a reflection, recollection, or comment brings up something intense or overwhelming, it’s completely okay, and even helpful, to say so. For example: “Whenever I talk about that I want to cry,” or “I felt anxious when you said that.” Your therapist may also ask you your emotional state throughout the session.

Mention what they can’t see

If you’re fidgeting with your hands below the camera, clenching your jaw, or shaking your leg, it can be helpful to describe it. Especially if you notice it’s a significant response to something you’re addressing.

Setting Up Your Space for Effective Virtual Therapy Sessions

Organizing your therapy space in an intentional manner can make a huge difference. It’s tough to really focus when things aren’t purposefully set up. Let’s discuss how to best set up an online therapy space.

Your Online Therapy Space Should Be Private and Quiet

It’s near impossible to have a productive therapy session when you’re not in a space that’s private. You can’t open up and be vulnerable if you’re worried that a family member or roommate might overhear you. It’s tough to share a story through the noise at a coffee shop. 

Your online therapy space should be free of distractions, interruptions, and background noise as much as possible. Find a quiet room where you can close the door, silence notifications on your phone, and let the people you live with know that you shouldn’t be disturbed.

If privacy at home is tough, consider other options, like sitting in your parked car, booking a private room at a library, or using noise-cancelling headphones.

Your Online Therapy Space Should Be Organized

Make the most of your online session by organizing things prior. Before your session begins, take a minute to gather anything you might need. Have a glass of water nearby, tissues within reach, a notebook if you like to jot down insights, and your device fully charged or plugged in. Have a bathroom break or snack beforehand.

Logging in a few minutes early also gives you time to troubleshoot any technical issues without feeling rushed. A little preparation can help you settle into the session and stay focused.

Your Online Therapy Space Should Be Comfortable

This is actually one of the ways that virtual therapy often “beats out” in person therapy. Being at home or in a private space often means you can set it up to be as comfortable as you’d like. 

If you want to be in sweats, with a blanket around you, feel free! If there’s a pillow you really like to squeeze, go for it! Sit in your comfiest chair, tune the thermostat just right, and set up the lighting so it’s to your liking.

All of these measures can help you stay engaged. Many clients have also shared that it’s easier to open up in the safety of a known, comfortable, space.

Your Online Therapy Space Should Be Reliable

Make sure that your internet connection, camera, and mic are all working properly prior to your online therapy session. Some folks opt to have their phone ready as a back up if they foresee connection being lost or something not working properly.

Getting ahead of technical issues helps both you and your therapist stay focused on the conversation instead of spending your time troubleshooting.

How to Stay Present and Focused During Online Therapy

Try to treat your online therapy session with the same level of importance as you would an in-person appointment. This means something different to everyone. Some people may get dressed as though they’re heading to an in-person office. Others may make sure they’re sitting upright throughout sessions.

It’s usually helpful to remove distractions from your online therapy room. If you notice you instinctively look at your phone a lot, try putting it on silent, turn it off, or keep it out of the room while you’re attending your virtual session. Similarly, if you have texts or calls on your laptop, put them on ‘do not disturb.’ Close all other tabs (especially the ones that trigger notifications).

Try to avoid “in person” distractions as well, like folding laundry, managing paperwork, or cooking during the session if it’s avoidable. Instead, try taking a few moments before the session to “transition into therapy mode.” This could look like taking a few slow breaths, or spending a minute reflecting on what you’d like to discuss. Creating a simple pre-session ritual can help you arrive mentally and emotionally, making the most of your time together.

Find an Online Therapist in Toronto

If you’re ready to experience the benefits of online therapy from the comfort of your space, I’d love to support you. I offer virtual therapy sessions throughout Ontario designed to feel just as warm, connected, and effective as in-person care.

Whether you’re navigating anxiety, life transitions, relationship challenges, or simply feel like something is off, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Book a free consultation today and let’s find out if we’re a good fit.