Breakup and Divorce Therapy in Toronto
People don’t put enough emphasis on how ground-shaking a breakup or divorce can be. Whether it was a tumultuous ending or whether it was mutual or expected, breakups can be extremely painful, shaking, and overwhelming. They can trigger intense grief, insecurity, loneliness, or shame. It may also make us question our own identity or future. You may find yourself ruminating on unanswered questions, regrets, or conversations.
It’s not only an emotional event either. A break up can make your routine, sense of safety, and future feel completely different. How do you fill up the space a person used to take? That question can feel heavy and unpredictable, especially when you’re left answering it on your own.
Breakup and divorce therapy can be the space to process what happened, better understand your emotions, explore patterns of relationships, and rebuild a sense of direction.
What Breakups and Divorce Can Feel Like
People experience breakups in a lot of different ways. You may experience:
- Huge waves of sadness, grief, anger or panic
- Numbness or total shock
- A hard time letting go of the past; e.g., replaying happy moments together over and over
- Shame, guilt, self-anger, or self-judgment
- Resentment about your ex
- Anxiety about the future
- Changes in your appetite, sleep, or routine
- Lower self-esteem or a lost identity
- Obsessive thoughts
- Loneliness, even when you’re around others
- A lack of joy, even when doing things you used to love
Why People Seek Therapy After a Breakup or Divorce
People often seek therapy after a break up or divorce when:
- Their emotions feel too overwhelming to manage on their own
- They feel stuck, unable to move on from the break up
- Their self-confidence has plummeted as a result of the break up
- They feel abandonment wounds
- They have trouble still seeing seeing their ex (e.g., at work, to coparents)
- They notice they’re repeating the same patterns in relationships
- They are having a hard time transitioning into their new reality
It’s important to note that the breakup didn’t have to be “dramatic” for it to have had a deep impact. Breakups of all kinds can shake our sense of self, others, and the world.
My Approach to Breakup and Divorce Therapy
My approach will be organized around your set of needs. We’ll work collaboratively to set goals that make sense for you, and tweak and adjust as we move forward.
I use the following therapy approaches:
Psychoeducation & Self-Compassion Tools
Learn what’s going on internally, how grief and loneliness can manifest, and shift the ways you’re speaking to yourself.
What You May Notice Over Time
Ongoing support during a breakup or divorce may help in a variety of ways. Many experience the following:
- A better understanding of what they’re going through
- More stability in their thoughts and emotions
- Less overthinking and rumination
- Improved sense of self/confidence
- More clarity in regards to their relational and emotional patterns
- More acceptance and peace of the breakup
- An openness to future relationships
- More ease in regards to co-parenting/separation logistics
- An improved connection to themselves, their identity, and their needs.
Is What I Am Feeling Normal?
It’s completely normal to feel intensely emotional after a break up. You just lost a person and a relationship that’s extremely important to you. Confusion, grief, anger, sadness, overwhelm, and destabilization may all be part of the journey.
It’s also completely normal to have a different “moving on” timeline than what others expect from you. Breakups affect everyone differently, and despite anyone trying to “will away” your hurt, it is completely acceptable to take your time through the pain. It’s perfectly normal to want support during these moments, as well.
If you do notice that the intensity of the feelings never seem to let up (even for small moments), you notice yourself becoming compulsively consumed by your thoughts, or your mood leaves you completely unable to live your life; you very likely need support in restabilizing.
If you are experiencing active thoughts of harming yourself or someone else, you need immediate help and should call emergency services. In Canada, you can call 988 for suicide crisis, and 911 for emergency services.
FAQs About Anxiety Therapy
Will therapy help me stop thinking about my ex?
What if I want closure?
How long does healing take?
What if I still love the person who hurt me?
Start Breakup and Divorce Therapy Today
I am a Toronto therapist offering in-person and online therapy across Ontario. Both in-person and online therapy are good options.
In-person sessions may feel more personal and connective. Online sessions provide greater flexibility and are accessible anywhere in Ontario.
It’s so incredibly common to feel isolated after a break up. You may feel like you have no one to talk to. You may feel like your friends or family don’t understand what you’re going through. You may feel like you’re picking up the pieces on your own.
Having a space where you can be honest and understood without pressure or judgment can be extremely helpful on your path towards healing. If you’re interested, we can work towards making sense of what happened and finding a way forward.
You can shoot me an email or book a free 15-minute consultation, and we can explore whether we’re a good fit. This call gives you the chance to ask questions, explore your goals, and get a sense of what it feels like to work together.
If I’m not the right fit, I can help you find someone in my trusted network who might be.
